Monday, November 22, 2010

Adoption ::: Grandparents

One of the most challenging facets that we face with adoption is telling others about our wishes.  It can be difficult to know how our family will react to the news.  One thing to keep in mind is that as potential adoptive parents we have often been thinking, dreaming, and researching adoption for a while before we break the news to others.  We need to be sure to give them time to digest the information and their initial reaction may not be all we had hoped for.  Sometimes too, the route we have chosen to pursue, domestic vs international or transracial vs "same skin" adoption can be cause for concern for our loved ones.

Remember, that particularly if you have suffered with infertility, adoption can represent a loss for other family members too.

We have been very fortunate from the start, that our family has been very supportive.  Even when they have thought we were crazy {and they did!}, they have been supportive.

(on the beach in Barbados)

I asked my mom a few questions about adoption from a Grandparents perspective.  She said that they have always been excited for us and proud of our decision to adopt.  It was a bit of a difficult time for them as parents to see Bob and I so disappointed about not conceiving, yet during that same time my sister gave birth to two beautiful daughters.

(my parents in Barbados with the kids)

My parents graciously accompanied us on our trip to Barbados to finalize Anna and Levi's adoption from St. Vincent and the Grenadines.  We really felt it was important for all of our children to come on both of our trips to the caribbean for this last adoption.  In order to help us out, my parents flew with the big boys and met us in Barbados and then stayed until it was time to fly back to the U.S.   They were a huge help not only in Barbados, but also navigating the airport with six children nine and under!

(me, my mom and the girls in Barbados)

My mom states that her grandchildren are her grandchildren, period!  There is no difference between the ones who arrived via the womb and the ones who arrived via a passport.  International adoption has "opened their world in a number of ways" as she put it.  It never mattered where our kids came from or how different they might look.

Because of their open arms attitude my parents have cultivated from the beginning, they now enjoy "rock star" status with all of their grandchildren.

I am so thankful for...........my parents!!

❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ 

***Winners of the Adoption Books Giveaway***

       1.  Catherine Anne (10)
       2.  Jennifer (13)

Thanks to all who entered!

10 comments:

Tracy said...

Beautiful post and pictures! Your parents sound like wonderful grandparents and thanks for sharing their perspective on having adopted grandchildren. It was very interesting to read and you are blessed with their loving hearts!
Have a great week!
Thanks again for sharing another Thankful Hearts post and linking up!

Jessica said...

This is a post I plan on forwarding to my cousin who is trying to adopt her foster child. She has had some negative family reactions and could use some words of encouragement!

Jen @ Forever, For Always... said...

Tracy - Thank you!

Jessica - Thank you, I hope she finds it helpful :)

Jill said...

Great post! It's so great to have parents who are so supportive, and trust our decisions. No matter how wacky they are! It's almost like they knew from the beginning that we would both have amazing families, no matter how they were formed.

Patty said...

Okay. So this one has me going for a tissue...for so many reasons.

First, I wish I had thought about the grandparents perspective in this light. What an eloquent way of stating the fact that they need "time to digest". (Mine did digest and love little man sooo much.)

Second, how awesome that they have helped you all out with so much generosity. Amazing!

Third, you can see how proud they are of their grandchildren and I had to really laugh hard at the rock star status.

This is such a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. I KNOW it will help others so much, especially the grandparents.

God bless our parents!

Lori said...

Thank you so much for this post!

I also look forward to being "grandma" to all of my grandchildren no matter how they arrive! :)

What a blessing your parents are!

Gardenia said...

congrats to your winners! Jen, your parents are awesome! and so are mine. My mom and dad opened their hearts to my daughter long before she came home, and they accompanied my hubby and me on our pick up trip. though my dad travelled the world for a living, he had never been to guatemala and so they were seeing a new environment, in addition to welcoming our daughter.

Sandy J said...

That is so awesome. Our families have been so open as well and they can't wait -- yesterday we called my s-i-l to ask if they would be home. We needed to talk to them about being guardians of our children but we didn't tell them why. When we got there they had been expecting us to be showing up with a child. They thought that something had happened and we were coming to surprise them. God willing it won't be long now :0)

Sandy

Meghan said...

Great post Jen! I think with grandparents it can be difficult to tell them. I know in our family, the idea at first was different (we were the first ones to ever adopt), yet I watched in complete amazement as both sets of grandparents grew more and more excited as we found out more information on our son. Then, fast forward to bringing him home, and you're right- grandchildren are grandchildren and neither one of my son's grandparents care how he came to join our family. He's one of us now, and that's all the matters!

Meghan said...

Great post Jen! I think with grandparents it can be difficult to tell them. I know in our family, the idea at first was different (we were the first ones to ever adopt), yet I watched in complete amazement as both sets of grandparents grew more and more excited as we found out more information on our son. Then, fast forward to bringing him home, and you're right- grandchildren are grandchildren and neither one of my son's grandparents care how he came to join our family. He's one of us now, and that's all the matters!

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