Many years ago when Jacob was just a baby, we would occasionally go to daily mass. I remember one particular morning Jacob was a little fussy. After mass an older lady came up to us to say good morning. We chatted for a bit and I apologized for Jacob being noisy at mass. She remarked “Don’t worry about that one bit, you are right where you are supposed to be“.
Those encouraging words have stayed with me ever since.
Catholic Mass with Little Children
It’s no small task to get young children up, fed, dressed and out the door for mass on Sunday morning. Then begins the wrestling match and shushing fest. They are squirmy, loud, demanding, and sometimes just downright embarrassing. It’s hard to pay attention, let alone to feel anything spiritual. Some weeks it hardly seems worthwhile.
You are right where you are supposed to be.
Even now our kids are 12, 10, 9, 9, 8 & 6 and we still go to mass with a seating chart. Some children bug certain siblings more than others, some kids goof off more than others and need to be within arms reach. My kids are far from perfect at mass, but it does get easier.
Some families trade off masses so that the little ones can stay home, i.e. one person goes to the 8:00am service with no kids/big kids and then spouse goes to the 10:00am service. This is something that we never chose to do. Of course if someone is sick that’s a completely different story.
My husband in particular was always very adamant that we attend mass as a family. It helps to set the tone for going to mass every weekend. It’s what our family does, we attend mass together each weekend. On vacation, when we are tired, when we have a busy weekend, we go to mass. I believe the only way kids are going to learn to be better behaved at mass is to go to mass. Attending infrequently makes it easier to forget proper behavior.
Daily Mass is Good Practice
Daily mass is a good place to “practice” attending mass. The mass is usually much shorter than a weekend mass. Often after mass there is time to wander around the church just a bit to look at and talk about the different statues and Stations of the Cross. Our parishes are usually rich with history and tradition, a great homeschooling religion class on the fly.
Don’t be discouraged by the occasional stink eye in church. Some parents were blessed with perfectly behaved children – the rest of us were not! For some reason God didn’t call me to parent perfectly behaved children, God called me to parent the children that I have. I’m quite positive that God would rather have my children misbehaving a bit at mass rather than sitting perfectly behaved at home.
Remember, mass is where you need to be!
Moms of older children, let’s remember to extend grace to those frazzled young moms with young children. Be an encouragement and let them know they are right where they need to be. It does get easier to get out the door, there are less bathroom emergencies, and children do start to sit still. I can’t guarantee they will pay attention the whole time {my mind still wanders!}, but they do sit relatively still. A little, okay, A LOT, of work in the beginning will reap benefits later on down the road.
Tips for Taking Young Children to Mass
I love this, Jen. We have a seating assignment, too. (I wonder if the old folks have picked up on this since they see us each week 😉 And I love this line…..”For some reason God didn’t call me to parent perfectly behaved children, God called me to parent the children that I have. I’m quite positive that God would rather have my children misbehaving a bit at mass rather than sitting perfectly behaved at home.” Beautifully said!!
I was wondering why your blog was not popping up in my blogger feed…..I did not realize you changed formats. It looks wonderful! Congratulations. It is so important that we don’t judge kids and families at church. We are each trying our best in that given moment and there have been times when we have all needed a little reassurance!
There have been many moments when I have been horrified at something my kids have done at church! But they are kids so things like that are going to happen. Do you follow through BlogLovin by any chance? I know there was a little blip with that service, but it should be all set now.
Jen recently posted…Our Move to Florida Update
“You are right where you are supposed to be”. Thank you. I am that frazzled young mom some Sundays, especially when my husband is out of town. Some weeks are better than others, but it is ALWAYS worth it.
Jessica recently posted…My Child Accidentally Injected Herself With Her Epi-Pen. Lessons I Learned and Should Have Known.
Been there done that with a traveling husband!! Hang in there, it does get better and it is so worth it!
“For some reason God didn’t call me to parent perfectly behaved children, God called me to parent the children that I have.”
This is so wonderfully put. The next time we are in front of the Perfectly Behaved Wiggle-Free Family at Mass and I feel their eyes on the back of my neck, I will remember your words. Thank you!
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This was exactly what I needed to see. I’ve been taking my wiggly two-year-old to daily mass for 8 months now and on Thursday I finally got a negative comment. I had to go to the bathroom and cry and I almost left, but knew that wouldn’t be the best decision either. I remembered all the other parishioners who say she is a ray of sunshine and how they love shaking her hand during the sign of peace. I too wasn’t called to parent perfect children. Great article!
This makes me so sad to hear that someone made a negative comment to you!! Keep going to mass! Don’t let a rude comment from someone having a bad day steer you off course. Say a prayer for that person and keep doing what you are doing 🙂 Thanks for reading and God Bless!!
Thanks for pointing me to this post! At my church we are blessed with a lot of families, which is wonderful, but also have a couple of older women who have a tendency to tut, look angry or outright scold if children are being a little noisy. One family had only recently joined the church and I have not seen them at service since they were repeatedly given a furious glare by a woman in the row in front when their little daughter laughed and burbled happily. Ironically, the readings and sermon that day were on coming to Christ as a little child! It makes me so sad that some people believe that still silence is more important than ensuring children are comfortable in church and know they are part of God’s family.