The Winner is......

Thanks for leaving a comment!  We will do this again at the end of March.  Never underestimate what you can do to entertain an 8-year-old :)

Showing Proof

Our daughter, who just joined our family in December from the Caribbean, is in need of extensive dental work.  Because she needs extensive work done we are wanting her to be under general anesthesia as opposed to concious sedation.  My husband took her today for her appointment.  As they were wrapping up the appointment the dentist mentioned that she would need proof of our daughter's adoption.  My husband tends to get much less riled up than I do over these kinds of things, I am afraid I would have had a hard time keeping my cool if I had been there.  All of our six children have had some kind of minor surgery, and one has had major surgery, at this same university no less, and we have never had to show "proof".  We did that already with the insurance, so I don't think it is their place to question.
I generally don't get many comments about our family when we are out and about other than the "you have your hands full".  Comments are usually out of unintentional ignorance rather than trying to be hurtful.  And I have yet to hear an outright negative comment.  I think my job is to try and educate rather than let a snarky comment fly (although it can be tempting at times!).  Plus, I know my kids are always watching me when we interact with others so I know it is best to remain calm and smile and say "yes, they are all mine!".  However, I will not sit by and let someone else treat us as something less than a real family.  It is not okay for me to have to "prove" my relationship with my daughter (or my son) to a dentist or to anyone else. 

Besides, I am generally not in the habit of picking up random kids and taking them to have surgery.

This is the letter that was sent to the school:

         On Friday, February 26, 2010 my daughter, Anna ****, had an appointment and met with Dr*** .  Anna needs extensive dental work due to lack of care during her first five years, she joined our family in December 2009, through adoption, from an island in the Caribbean.  As my husband and daughter were wrapping up the appointment, Dr ***  stated that she needed proof of our adoption of our daughter.  This is not documentation we regularly provide to anyone.

  Each of our children (all were adopted) have had minor surgery and we have never needed to provide any additional information other than what was required for our insurance company.  In fact, in September of 2009 one of our children had major surgery at the ___.  She has been seen extensively by Dr. *** and his team for the past couple of years and we have never been asked to submit any kind of proof of our relationship with our daughter.  Dr. *** and the Orthopedic team couldn’t have provided her with any better care.  I suppose we were expecting the same level of respect and care that we received from others in the medical community.

Finally. unless your department is now requiring proof of legal guardianship or birth certificates for ALL your patients you can be sure you will be getting no further information on the adoption of our daughter.   Adoption is quite common in 2010, as well as families of a transracial nature.  Surely in this day and age, my husband and daughter were not singled out because he happens to be caucasian and she is afro-caribbean.  If Dr *** feels that she can not confidently perform the procedure on our daughter with out further “proof” we would be happy to be referred to another dentist who would be more comfortable working with us.

Kind Regards,

Fireproof DVD Give Away

In an effort to keep up with my Lenten de-cluttering,  I have an extra copy of the movie Fireproof that I would like to give it away.   The movie has never been used and is still in the plastic wrap.  If you are interested, please leave a comment and the kids and I will choose a winner on Saturday.  If I don't have any takers I will donate it to our local library.

Adoption Radio Program

*I received this via e-mail today and thought I would pass it along.  I have not yet listened to any of these programs, but they sound good.  I am going to try and mark my calendar for March 10 and April 7th!*

The internet radio show, Creating a Family, is an educational resource for adoptive families covering pre and post adoption issues.  The award winning show is rated the top adoption podcast on iTunes, and previous guests have included Deborah Gray (Attaching in Adoption), Sherrie Eldridge (Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew), Mary Hopkins-Best (Toddler Adoption: The Weaver’s Craft) Dr. Jane Aronson (international adoption doctor and founder of Worldwide Orphans Foundation), Gregory Keck (Parenting the Hurt Child), Karen Foli (The Post-Adoption Blues), Dr. Foster Cline (Love and Logic and Can This Child Be Saved), Michele Bond (with the US State Department International Adoption section), and many more.   

The shows air every Wednesday from 12:00 to 1:00 Eastern Time and all old shows are still available for listening at the radio page ofwww.creatingafamily.org.  It is our goal to keep this show advertisement free, so we rely on agencies to tell their families about this service.  Please post this information in your newsletter or on your website, or send it to your families via email.

The shows are booked about three months in advance.  Below are the show topics for March-April. (Half the shows are infertility related and have not been included in this list.)

March 10: Panel Discussion with Adult Transracial Adoptees

            Join us for a frank discussion with the real experts—adults of color who were adopted by white parents as children.  They can tell us much about what worked, what didn’t, what they would suggest to this generation of transracial adoptive parents.  Our adoptees were adopted domestically, from Korea , from Vietnam and from Colombia .

March 17: Single Parenthood by Choice

            More women and men are choosing to become parents without a partner either by donor sperm, donor egg and surrogate, or adoption.  What should you know before you make this choice.  What advice can help you if you have already made the choice.  Join our guests Mikki Morrissette, single mom through donor sperm and author of Choosing Single Motherhood, and Ann-Marie Kennedy, single mom through adoption.

   

April 7: Adopting out of birth order and Adopting More Than One

        What are the advantages and disadvantages to adopting more than one child at a time and adopting out of birth order? Is it always a bad idea? Our guest will be Dr. Anne Brodzinsky, Ph.D in Psychology, and co-author of Children’s Adjustment to Adoption: Developmental and Clinical Issues.

April 14: Living with FASD

            What are the risk factors for adopting a child with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder?  What’s the prognosis for children who have been exposed to alcohol during pregnancy?  Our guest will be Dr. Julian Davies, a pediatrician that specializes in both adoption medicine and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Gentle Prodding

Do The Next Thing

At an old English parsonage down by the sea,
there came in the twilight a message to me.
Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven
that, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.
And all through the hours the quiet words ring,
like a low inspiration, 'Do the next thing.'

Many a questioning, many a fear,
many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
time, opportunity, guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,
trust that with Jesus, do the next thing.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer,
do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
leave all resultings, do the next thing.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
working or suffering be thy demeanor,
in His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
the light of His countenance, be thy psalm. 

           Do the next thing.
            
           - author unknown

Playing with Dolls

Maybe it is genetic to want to carry babies on your back!

Giving up Clutter for Lent...

There has been a lot of on-line discussion about 40 Bags in 40 Days.  Lent is a good time to clean things up both literally and spiritually.  I wasn't necessarily interested in getting rid of a certain number of bags, but we definitely had some areas that needed some attention.

Bob and I came up with a list of areas we wanted to tackle during Lent.  First up was the coat closet in the basement.  It is the catch all area when we come in from the garage and it always tends to be messy.  Coats for eight people, shoes for eight people, you get the idea.  We made a pact that we weren't going to save anything "just in case", we needed to be ruthless!  We threw out lots of junk, dog items for a dog we haven't had in two years, a plethora of reusable of shopping bags etc.

Though somethings are harder to throw away than others.  Here is my shameless mom brag:

 

Jacob was on the cover of our adoption agency newsletter when he first came home.  I ended up with lots of copies of the newsletter, and since then (2002!) we have had an abundance.  We have one framed and gave one to Jacob, but we finally recycled the rest.

Bob had the idea to get bins for all the shoes and now each person has their own container for their shoes.  Even though each week one of the kids had the responsibility to straighten the shoes, it would only be straightened for a little while and then it would be a disaster again.  We eliminated some of the shoes and made the rule that you can only keep what fits in your bin.  It looks great and it was super easy  for all the kids to find their shoes on Sunday morning.  Here is the finished result of the closet:

One project down, a few more to go:

1. Hall Closet
2. Basement Storage Shelve
3. Master Closet
4. Computer Area

Here's to less clutter!

Stations of the Cross

As a family we are going to try and go to stations each Friday night.  Here is a good explanation of what Stations of the Cross is and why it is a good devotional for Lent.

Early Morning

Sarah had an early morning PT appointment, so she is spending the morning with dad.  These two were up bright and early, for no particular reason.

Ash Wednesday

"Remember, man, you are dust, and to dust you will return"

Here is a great explanation of Ash Wednesday.

Lenten Reading

Let the Lenten reading begin.  The first is

 

which I am reading for the book club at our parish.  The second is a recommendation from a friend




and finally, I am going to read Leisure: The Basis of Culture along with this blog.  This means more reading and less computer, which is always a good thing :)

Tuesday Crock Pot

Western Style Country Ribs.  I dumped them in and poured BBQ sauce over them.  I think I should have browned them first, but I read this after I had already dumped them in the crock pot!  We will see what happens.

FIAR - Owl Moon/President's Day

This week we are going to read Owl Moon by Jane Yolen.



A perfect book for the winter.  Bob and Jonah just went on a night nature walk, so Jonah will particularly enjoy this book.  This looks like a good site to further research Great Horned Owls, where they are found, what they eat etc.  We will also talk about the different phases of the moon, I like the moon chart I saw here.  If we have time I saw a recipe for owl cookies that we might try, although Lent starts on Wednesday so we always try to limit our sweets during that time.  Maybe we will come up with another owl craft.

Today is also President's day so were are going to read this book:

Last year we made Cowboy cookies, supposedly a favorite of former president George W. Bush, but we just made cookies over the weekend, so no cookies today.

Last year we also built log cabins from Lincoln Logs in honor of Abe Lincoln, maybe we will do that again this year.  No preschool today, so we have more time to do extra things.

Cuteness & Hair

We tried a new product in Anna's hair so I wanted to snap a picture.  The littles were in the mood to have their pictures taken!  Love the way Anna's hair looks and so does she.  We used products from Kinky-Curly.  Kinky-Curly is sold at Whole Foods!  Yesterday I was doing some more research on product for Anna's hair and briefly came across Kinky-Curly.  Then I went to Whole Foods for some other things and happened to see two young black women with Kinky-Curly in their cart, I had no idea it was carried by Whole Foods.  I am so glad I stopped to ask them about it, her hair looks really cute and she absolutely loves it.  I am anxious to see how it looks in the morning.

Lenten Calendar

My St. Valentine's gift from Bob was time alone in the house today.  He and the kids left earlier this morning and will be back home sometime this afternoon.  This little break is even more special because he was originally scheduled to be out of town for work this weekend, but due to snow everywhere in the south his trip was cancelled.  Since he was not going to be home we didn't have anything else scheduled for the day. 


It was a great opportunity to work on our Lenten Calendar.   I got the idea from this blog.  It looked very neat and orderly and not too "out of the reach" crafty.  At least something in our house should be neat and orderly!  In between putting our calendar together I had the chance to catch up on some laundry, I made mushroom soup from this Russian cookbook and got these cookies started.  Amazing what can be accomplished when no one else is home.


But back to the calendar.  I followed the design exactly as the one I referenced, I really like the way it looked.  I modified some of the prayer intentions to fit our family, this is what I chose:

Sunday - thanksgiving for God’s Blessings

Monday - Pope Benedict and all priests

Tuesday - for birth families

Wednesday - all children who don’t have families

Thursday - all families in the process of adoption

Friday - all those who suffer & don’t know the love of Jesus

Saturday - for our deceased relatives

Also, on each day of the calendar I picked a story from the Bible to read at dinner time.  We are going to use this Bible.  Normally at dinner, Bob reads a story about a saint from this saint of the day book, but sometimes it goes over the little ones heads.  Plus, Anna and Levi haven't heard many Bible stories yet, and Lent is an excellent time to read the stories leading up to Holy Week and Easter.  I had some small cards from Catholic Heritage Curricula that fit perfectly in the squares, and added some images from the internet on Ash Wednesday, St. Patrick's feast day, and Palm Sunday.  We also have two birthday's during Lent and Holy Week, plus I wrote in a reminder to start a novena to St. Joseph.

I hope this calendar really helps us keep our focus during the Lenten season.

Great Backyard Bird Count

starts today!

I won this......

Barbara Curtis at Mommy Life was having a give away and I was one of three winners of this book:





It arrived yesterday and I can't wait to start using this book during our day.  Thanks Barbara!