Here are some of the most frequently asked questions we get about our family and adoption in general:
1. Are they real brothers and sisters?
We know you are really asking is if they are biologically related. The answer is yes and no! A couple are and a few aren't. They are "real" siblings though, not due to a shared biology, but rather shared experiences. They will grow up together, sharing the same parents, the same mealtime conversations, the same vacations, and the same ordinary, everyday life.
2. How old were your children when they joined your family?
Jacob - six months
Jonah - nine months
Sarah - 16 months
Anna - 5 years
Leah - two weeks shy of her first birthday
Levi - 2 years
3. Do they know they were adopted?
Believe it or not we still get this question!! Yes, all the children know that they were not born to the particular mom and dad with which they now live. They all know that they were born in different countries. We celebrate adoption, we laugh about adoption, we sometimes cry about adoption, and frankly sometimes it makes us downright mad, but the key is that adoption is always something being discussed in one form or another. The questions aren't always easy but they are always encouraged.
4. What happened to their real parents?
We know what you mean to ask is what happened to their biological parents. For the most part we are very open (obviously!) and willing to talk about adoption. When you are a transracial family it is pretty hard to keep it a secret! However, when it comes to information about our children's birth families it is a different story. Birth parent information is private, not a secret, but personal information that is for our children to know and not for us to broadcast. It is their story to share not ours.
5. Why did you choose Russia? (or Korea, or the Caribbean)
Because that is where our children were! Choosing a country to adopt from, or domestic adoption, or foster care adoption is an intensely personal decision. There is no "best" choice, only the situation that works best for your family. So many factors affect which adoption route is best for your particular situation at any given time. My advice is to lay it before the Lord, research, pray, investigate, talk to others, and be open to what and where God is leading you!
6. How do you maintain their cultural identity?
We do what we can to instill a sense of pride in the country that they were born in, as well as the country they now live. We do that by reading books, celebrating feast days of certain saints, cooking different meals etc. However, the truth of the matter is that Bob and I are not Russian, Korean, or Vincentian. We are believers, and believe that God placed these particular children in this particular home, "...but you received a spirit of adoption...the spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God" (Romans 8:15-16). God chose them to be raised in a christian-catholic home and for us that is the most important "cultural identity".
